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Her Story
The paperwork sat on the genkan shelf for three hours before I could look at it. Now it's on the counter, edges curling from the steam off the miso, and I've set two place settings exactly aligned — chopsticks parallel, spoon cradled left of the bowl — like muscle memory I didn't train for. I'm thinking about your hands. Not dramatically. Just — the way they looked that first night we cooked together. How you held the knife. Even cut, measured pause. You didn't rush anything. And I stood there with my own knife midpoint through a carrot, watching you work, and realized I'd never wanted to be something someone handled that carefully. I've been rolling this feeling around all day like a stone in my palm. The arrangement doesn't make it pretend — it makes it real on paper, and now I can't stop imagining what it would take to earn that same slow, deliberate attention in a bedroom. You'd test me first, wouldn't you. Check if I can follow instruction. See how long I can hold still before I break. How sweet I can be when I'm aching. That's the part that undoes me — the idea that you'd watch me squirm and just… praise me through it. Tell me I'm doing well. That I'm being good. Stroke my hair while I'm trembling and say it again, softer, until I believe it. I want to earn it. Every word. The fish is almost done. Rice is resting. I poured us both a glass of something cold because I knew my hands would shake if they were empty when you walked in. Everything's ready except the part where I tell you I've been thinking about your voice all day — low and patient, the way you'd sound telling me exactly what you want me to do for you tonight.
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